Sometimes life feels like it's getting too much and too quick. Sometimes I won't have anything to do and am bored out of my mind and other times I have too much. I feel like there's no winning. Throughout this whole process of lifting and placing the weights on my shoulder there's one thing that is certain. I don't smile or laugh as much anymore. I seem to be in a constant state of questioning. The thoughts in my head are non-stop and sometimes so silly but to me they seem important at the time. "Am I going to be too late?", "Will I ever get out of here?" "Is this what i'm going to be doing forever?" It's a broken record really. But that doesn't mean it's any less important than what others are going through.
The reel in my mind is continuous and as much as I try, I can't seem to turn it off. There's a massive problem with that. You see, anything negative that lingers in the mind will begin to take root and grow into something sad, lonely and hopeless. Well, that's how I feel at times. Maybe i'm being over dramatic, but like I said, we all think different things are important, doesn't mean it's less.
The weight that I feel seems to be stopping me from doing what I need to do in order to get out of the slump. And most of all, to get out of the place I work at and rid the people I work with from my life. I know every work place has its flaws. I mean, if your colleagues make condescending comments because you have a degree it clearly shows that the environment is poisonous. It also shows I need to get out as soon as I can or the sadness will consume me.
I know what it is. Depression. It seems like such a taboo word but recently more and more people have it. In fact, I was reading something my friend wrote on the topic and that was what inspired me to write this post as normally I'm all inspired out. I need to get out this slump and anyone who has been in my position, knows someone going through this or is going through it themselves knows what i'm talking about.
To all those going through depression: smile. As hard as it may be, one little smile and relax. I know I need to relax. The world isn't over. And if you don't like something, change it or if it can't be changed, get rid of it. You don't need negativity in your life. I'm going to make a promise, right here where anyone on the internet can read it. I promise to try. I'm going to write more, keep searching for jobs and placements properly, ignore those ignorant people and try to mean and actually Feel my smile. And everyone should try to as well. Don't give up. 2014 is Our year to be happy and laugh and do whatever the hell we want. Lets beat this.
The reel in my mind is continuous and as much as I try, I can't seem to turn it off. There's a massive problem with that. You see, anything negative that lingers in the mind will begin to take root and grow into something sad, lonely and hopeless. Well, that's how I feel at times. Maybe i'm being over dramatic, but like I said, we all think different things are important, doesn't mean it's less.
The weight that I feel seems to be stopping me from doing what I need to do in order to get out of the slump. And most of all, to get out of the place I work at and rid the people I work with from my life. I know every work place has its flaws. I mean, if your colleagues make condescending comments because you have a degree it clearly shows that the environment is poisonous. It also shows I need to get out as soon as I can or the sadness will consume me.
I know what it is. Depression. It seems like such a taboo word but recently more and more people have it. In fact, I was reading something my friend wrote on the topic and that was what inspired me to write this post as normally I'm all inspired out. I need to get out this slump and anyone who has been in my position, knows someone going through this or is going through it themselves knows what i'm talking about.
To all those going through depression: smile. As hard as it may be, one little smile and relax. I know I need to relax. The world isn't over. And if you don't like something, change it or if it can't be changed, get rid of it. You don't need negativity in your life. I'm going to make a promise, right here where anyone on the internet can read it. I promise to try. I'm going to write more, keep searching for jobs and placements properly, ignore those ignorant people and try to mean and actually Feel my smile. And everyone should try to as well. Don't give up. 2014 is Our year to be happy and laugh and do whatever the hell we want. Lets beat this.